I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
