I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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