I can't breathe out the right side of my face
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
