I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
