The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
