yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Holy sore nipples Batman
They are going to name an STD after you.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
