How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
My pussy is not your playground.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
