I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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