yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Just cropdusted the office
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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