Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
