maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
