i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
PS: I just woke up from my shower
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
