Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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