Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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