I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
