I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
