i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
