we have officially lost it.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
