Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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