girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
