Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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