Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
