yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize