Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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