I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
