She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
