You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
