9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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