I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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