I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
