Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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