Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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