Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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