I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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