okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
