Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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