The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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