Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
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i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
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just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
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