is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
