never play flip cup with pint glasses
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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