spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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