How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
