I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
