you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
In America we eat man semen.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
