Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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