I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
try to milk me bitch
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
