my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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