Can i not drive my cunt home
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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