At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
