I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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