Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize