So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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