I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
