Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
