Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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