but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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