he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
