WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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