Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
