Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
