How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
