....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
