Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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