Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
