Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
